I always find it hilarious when omnivores, upon learning of my vegetarianism, dumbfoundedly ask me, "but what do you eat?" It's funny because there are loads of diets in the world that are harder to maintain than mine. I've tried the caveman diet. I failed hard. I always want to ask the shocked asker what all they're eating that they can't imagine a diet without meat. Is it really dead animals three meals a day for people like that? Or do they forget that most food wasn't actually a living creature at one point?

It's also funny because I eat a lot when left to my own devices. I'm not gingerly nibbling at lettuce leaves like some people might imagine. There is a ton of vegetarian food in the world and much of it is delicious.  Heck, it's even possible to be vegan and eat more than chlorophyl. Dear befuddled omnivores: I present for your consideration one of my delicious vegan recipes. It makes cookies without the aid of stuff that comes out of animals. It is possible--and really very tasty.

The problem with me and most baked goods is that I get so excited by the dough/batter that by the time the finished product has cooled I'm completely full up. Especially since my baking went eggless and I no longer have to worry about death by salmonella, I eat a damn ton of raw cookie. I can't help myself. Oatmeal cookies solve this problem by containing uncooked oats, which are not very palatable. I still managed to take a good deal away from the butter and sugar creaming phase, but not quite enough to sate my appetite before I rolled in the oats and flour. The final product, luckily, was well worth waiting the oven time for. As I was stress baking for one, I only made about half of the recipe as it appears below. It still garnered me many a cookie--I imagine the full thing would be best if you've got plenty of hungry vegan mouths to feed.

Co-opted and veganized from Beth Setrakian over at Food Network.

Ingredients

1 cup vegan margarine (Earth Balance is supposed to be the best)

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

A big ripe banana

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup olive oil

1 1/2 cups flour (whole wheat is nice with the oats but any kind will do)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon cardamon (I didn't have any so I supplemented with extra cinnamon and nutmeg)

3 cups rolled oats (I like the little Irish kind)

1 cup dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. (My new apartment has a gas oven. I've never had a gas oven before. It is like the flames of hell are coming up through my floor to bake my cookies. It is super scary/metal.) Put the margarine in a big bowl and let it get a little soft. Cream it with the sugar until the mixture is fluffy and tastes like perfection. Mash up the banana and mix it in. Toss in the vanilla and olive oil. Olive oil and banana I've found to make the perfect egg substitute in baking. The sticky, gooey texture of the banana replicates the yolks in a way nothing else really can. The oil provides the extra moisture of the egg whites. Such a pro duo. 

Next, whisk together the flour, salt, baking soda, oats, and spices. Then mix the dry stuff gradually into the wet stuff until it's all the same stuff. Stir in the cranberries. You could, theoretically, use other kinds of fruit, but tart cranberries and nutty oats go together so splendidly I have no idea why anyone ever bothered to put raisins in oatmeal cookies. Drop dough onto a cookie sheet (cover with parchment paper if you're fancy, which I am not) in little blobs. I don't think eggless cookies expand quite as much as the non-vegan variety, so your blobs can be a little bigger and closer together than what you might be used to. Bake for 10-12ish minutes (a little longer if you like 'em crispy) or until the edges are brown and the cookies are slightly golden. Remove. Cool. Devour. I ate mine alongside a mug of green tea. It was a good decision. Next time someone asks what the heck you eat, have a handful of these on hand to throw at them. What do we eat? We eat deliciousness. By the dozen.