Every day a battle rages within my blood—to do it or not do it? A huge part of me wants to raise my daughter as a vegetarian. She’s four, completely healthy, having come a long way from her premature birth, and absolutely loves animals. Right now she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up (the same thing I wanted to be at four, actually)—a step up from wanting to be a cat when she grows up, which is what she told me just a year ago!

A vegetarian lifestyle is one of the most humane, ecologically important things I could teach her. It’s about caring for the earth, about being a humane person, and about respecting our fellow sentient creatures. She’s already asking questions and becoming troubled with the responses I’ve been giving her about the chicken and fish she eats. I try to give straightforward responses, too, because therein lies my dilemma—I don’t want to “force” my beliefs onto her.

I’m a progressive liberal, an animal rights activist, a pacifist. I like earth spirituality and shun the “book” religions and anything written by a human telling me how to think or live my life. I believe in ahisma wherever possible, recycling, being kind over being right, and that there’s really no such thing as black and white. But just because I believe these things doesn’t mean my daughter should; I want her to grow into her own person, believe what feels true to her, and find her own answers and way of life.

That said… there are simply certain things you teach your children. You teach them not to steal, after all, and to not use physical violence (hopefully) to solve problems. They’re usually taught mathematics and grammar, as well as a few other subjects in between. But what makes these subjects more important than the ones I mention above?

More importantly, where do beliefs and values end and things that are simply necessary begin? In today’s world of dwindling resources and climate change, it’s more important than ever to develop (not just consider—we’re already in the danger zone of running out of oil) alternative fuels and resources and really control our ecological footprints to the greatest extent that we can. In teaching her to recycle, then, or to refrain from eating meat, would I not be infringing upon her person but simply doing my duty as a citizen of the Earth, as every person might think of doing—and teaching her to do the same? After all, it would take three planets for all humans to live the way we Americans do.

I want to raise her with an open mind; I do. But I also want to raise her to be responsible, caring, and humane, which I think are values that most people hope to help their children embrace. Does being a vegetarian qualify under this umbrella of ethics? I’m thinking it does.